How long have you and your boyfriend been together and how/when did you both agree to pursue a committed relationship?

Leslie: We have been in love since April 29th, 2014, so dating for a year and 9 months but we have been friends for longer. We met in Ernie Davis after being introduced by a mutual friend the summer of 2012. And in a little less than two years, he had become one of my best friends, but funny enough we hadn’t considered dating during that time. It wasn’t until we had a class together (we are in the same major) and our classmates started making comments about us making a good couple that it came to mind for us. Eventually, we went out to a party together for the first time near the end of the semester. That night we had our first kiss together and in the following days, we bashfully admitted how special we were to each other over a meal in Ernie Davis. And here we are now, many, many kisses, hugs, and happy moments later.

 

How did you all celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Leslie: We cooked breakfast together, (omelets have become our specialty) and lazed around for most of the day. Then went to the mall for a wonderful evening of shopping, dinner at PF Chang’s and then met up for drinks at Margaritaville with another couple. It was a perfect way to spend V-Day.

 

What does it mean to be a serious Black couple on campus in the public eye?

Leslie: It means commitment. That is the best way that I would describe it. I feel that there is an overarching hook-up culture in college. Such that both guys and girls don’t value monogamy anymore, relationships are now so centered around how many people can I string along at once. Or there is the “non-existent couple” in the public eye, who may be in a relationship, but choose to be on the “super down-low” and do not promote their relationship in public. I feel that both instances are detrimental, and can be seen in both the black population and across the board. Unfortunately, there have definitely been more people in the past that have been against our relationship than for it. And we both have certainly seen and dealt with our fair share of jealous people, but in the end, we realize that we cannot let that distract us from how we feel about each other. As a couple in college, in order to last, you have to establish your commitment to each other and where you both stand. And in establishing your commitment, you challenge the college hook-up culture. It is definitely possible to be a monogamous couple in college, but you both have to want it.

What is your stance on love and relationships?

Brad: I believe that many relationships are built on infatuation and lust but not actual love. In the same way most songs, TV shows, books and movies often touted as romantic focus on flirting, sex, desire but not love. So I absolutely believe in love, but I think many peoples definition of it is twisted. I always thought I would eventually be in a relationship in college but I had no concept of how rewarding it would be. I’m saving up for the ring right now, because I found the woman, best friend, confidante and other half that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

Why don’t you think more Black men on campus are in committed relationships?

Brad: Some boys want to stuff their mouths with as much candy as they can. They want immediate gratification and release. They can’t see past the initial sweetness to their later rotten teeth and character.

Some men take time to plant the right seeds in rich soil. They water and care for the sapling. They cut down any structure that blocks the rays of sunlight to the leaves. They do whatever is necessary to make sure those seeds grow into a thriving tree that will bear succulent fruit for a lifetime.

Commitment is hard… it takes time, effort and actual love.

 

What is your advice to new couples on campus at SU?

Brad: There’s general but valuable advice like: Put each other first and listen to each other.

But I think something that has saved our relationship time and time again has been when we’re arguing and one of us decides to stop trying to “win” the argument and starts trying to solve the issue. This can mean asking “What did I do or say that hurt you?” then shutting up and really listening to what your partner has to say until they ask you the same question and you explain your side.

A final piece of advice that I received from my professor who went on to marry his college sweetheart is, DON’T GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER!!!

If you’re in a positive relationship FIGHT FOR IT, do everything you can to keep your relationship strong and when it gets hard fight your problems together instead of fighting each other.